I had reconnected with an old boyfriend from college recently and we embarked on a rekindling of the relationship. It was so great to reconnect and although he seemed to be all guns fast forward in the beginning I kinda caught up to him. It felt so nice to have someone seem to feel love for me and appreciate me. To keep the story short, the basic crux is I believe he's got some major mental issues to deal with and he told me he couldn't get it up or keep it up because I was "extremely overweight". You should read the long crazy email he sent me, explaining himself! Whew! Thank God I dodged that crazy bullet!
This is the thing. I don't think there are many people who are truly without sensitivities or insecurities based on their appearance. But, someone who chooses to be in a relationship with someone even though they know there are not physically attracted to them, but doesn't reveal it until they are naked in bed with them? hmm...yeah, not classy, not caring and downright mean. I can't say it all didn't affect me, because it did. But, once I got a hold of what was a true reality and not his opinion, I could see the problems he faces. And I am happy to not have to deal with those.
I don't workout because he made me feel bad about myself. I was already working on it. But, now I do have an extra "fuck you, just you wait and see" bug that is buzzing a little bit inside me. But, he doesn't really get that much of me. He deserves none of me. I'm doing this for myself and my life will always be full of special, caring and wonderful people. He's not one of them. Besides, now I've been able to sing Goldrich & Heisler's fabulous song, "Fifteen Pounds" and have a great back story for it! His lesson, you ask? Don't date a cabaret artist, fuck with them and expect to not get in the show! Welcome to the freak list!
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