Incredible Hulk

I've always had bigger arms. Even when I was at my peak of fitness, my biceps were 12". Good Irish Milkmaiden arms I tell myself! So, I've always had issues with sleeves being too tight. Last night I put on one of my favorite t-shirts to wear to bed. It's a bright green long one with the words Peace & Love on it. It's length always made me feel safe to bend over without flashing anyone my tattoo. Recently I accepted that this t-shirt had to make the transition from 'wearable in public' to 'wear only at home'. Unable to let it go, I cut the sleeves a bit to accommodate my newly chubbing arms & shoulders. Well, last night, out of comfort, I found myself hand ripping each sleeve even more to free the chub from it's constriction. I thought little of it until I was brushing my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror. Toothpaste foamed mouth and jiggling flab on my arms, I stared back at myself...I looked like the Incredible Hulk. There's always a first time, right?

During this last week in NYC I felt like I had lost weight, my jeans being baggier, although I have no idea what I weighed before I left. Who knows, maybe it's a fringe benefit of the steroid shot that I got for my allergies! People kept asking me if I had lost weight and I wasn't sure how to answer. Do you say, "I think I did"~pathetic, right? Or is it just that disease I have that makes people remember me fatter than I am so after a long absence, I always look thinner to them. Mind you...I've always had that disease, no matter how thin or big I was; it's a gift! : )

1st workout accomplished!

Well, on Friday Chill & I had our first workout together in years!! It is always so much fun!! I love the new facility! Ok, so, it was a little embarrassing to hear myself panting while talking on the treadmill...but I've got to suffer through the bad cardio state to get to the good one again, right? I couldn't think of a better person to be embarrassed in front of than Chill! Cuz, Lord knows we laugh about it!

As I was brushing my teeth before the session, I became painfully aware of the crepey skin (Thanks 44~!) that was created from my now gargantuan boobs being smashed together in the 2 layers of spandex tops. But, what's a day without being able to shove two fat bits together for a little laugh! Of course, I want to keep these righteous boobs when I'm unfat, but Chill assured me that won't be the case. DAMNIT!!

He kept it simple and we gauged where I am with weight levels. It sounds crazy, but it felt like coming home being there with Chill & doing these familiar exercises. All the while, reminders of proper form, me inadvertantly skipping the 11th rep, and even a glimpse of empowerment! I had a "moment" while looking up at the overhead cable pull mechanism where the cable runs thru. I remembered proper form, I could feel my old muscles underneath, just waking up, excited to be used again! I could feel my old empowered and strong self somewhere underneath whisper in my ear..."it will happen...welcome home!" I wanted to cry...but I didn't, cuz I wasn't quite sure what my butt muscles were going to whisper to me! I just prayed I wouldn't crap my pants on a squat!!

We always do abs towards the end of the workout and they were always my favorite. I remember that the first ab workout was always fun and felt easy since your muscles are like noodles. Abs are my favorite since when I am in shape, they are my strong suit. But, as I felt good about how many crunches I was able to do, I couldn't stop chortling!! A vision of myself trying to get out of bed the next day was all the comedy my mind needed!! I envisioned either slowly sliding myself head first off the bed or even better, rolling out like a sardine out of a can!

So, now, day 2 after the workout (always the worst for soreness), I am feeling good! I really am enjoying feeling the presence of my muscles again...reminding me they need me to work them out and applauding me for getting into gear. Granted, I wobble like an old man when I first get up from sitting, but I remember that reality too!!

After almost 2 yrs. of waking up early for work, now my body decides it wants to get up early even on days off. Yesterday I got up early and decided to go feet first into my cooking for the week! Acorn squash, rutabega, spinach with sesame, grilled chicken and mahi! I also individually ziploc'd my portions of fruit and breakfast squares. Nothing better than listening to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" on NPR while cooking!!

Before I close this post, I must admit something. After my workout on Friday I walked Robby and did a few things around the house but then I HAD to take a nap! My body was happy for the workout but it apparently needed a 3 HOUR NAP!! LOL!!! True story!

Have a great day everyone and thanks for the support! Feel free to send the link on to anyone you think might enjoy it!

I ask myself...How did this chub-rocket get so damn lucky!!!!?? Elated after posting the inaugural blog, I was so excited & touched by the response! I hope we all have a blast with it!

I just quickly want to share with you something amazing that happened to me yesterday. Years ago, I received a flyer in the mail advertising a special deal for a month of sessions with a personal trainer. I took the deal, kept with it for years with great results and started a wonderful lifelong friendship with an amazing man! Chill, yes, Chill is his name...and he has a scary clown tattoo, so don't laugh at his name! Well, yesterday, Chill contacted me to catch up. We've seen each other in the last years, but never for a long, real chat.

Freshly registered as a follower of my blog, Chill read it and wanted to help. When he said that, I knew he meant more than just giving me a "you go, girl!", "keep it up" message every once in a while on Facebook. It was 'come to Jesus' time!! I knew I had to tell him the entire truth. Patient as a lamb, Chill sat and listened to my description (my abridged version is STILL long...god, he's a saint!) of my journey to fatdom. It included many of the topics I'll be mentioning in later blog posts.

The intention behind his desire to help me was the real reason why I sat there in the dog park wiping away tears, interrupted only by the Husky almost peeing on him (twice!) or the random dog begging me for a butt scratch. This friend loves me way better than I love myself! And it pained him to think I didn't feel the same way. I have so many amazing people in my life that are in the same boat and I want to finally feel the same way they do! I have to admit...typing that last sentence makes every fiber of my gut gurgle with uneasiness. But, training my mind to love me will be way more difficult than training my body again!

So, the amazing thing that happened is that Chill has offered to train me!!! His generosity, caring and supportive friendship warms my heart so much and fills me with such joy and gratefulness!!! So, tomorrow, the journey begins!!! I feel safe to be my current jiggly, girthy self with Chill. I know we will work hard and will laugh even harder!! So, here we go, up the hill! Into the fire! Like Scottish warriors pillaging and burning Chubb Valley, we crusade!!!

Thank you, Chill...from the bottom of my heart.

Welcome to Project "Get UnFat"!!

Hi! My name is Andi & I've gotten fat. I know. It doesn't sound good, fun or politically correct. But, this is MY journey, not a dig at people with weight issues. I never had a weight issue, unless you count my being a toddler that looked like a professional "rubber band smuggler", accentuating every joint with it's hefty chubby limbs.

Humor has always been my way to deal with the serious things in life. My friends often call me morbid, but I'd rather giggle than jiggle...so here is my attempt at having fun describing my journey to fatdom! This blog will be a collection of my musings in an attempt to see the light in the situation while seeking the personal power to make the shift back to healthy!

So, I hope you enjoy the snippets from my journey "to fatdom" and the long road I am embarking on towards my "old me" that I say I desperately want to be again. The only thing standing in my way is the BIG, UGLY, UNSUPPORTIVE BEAST I can also call...my own lack of self worth.